LOVE

I haven’t written anything for quite a long time. Not because there’s nothing happen in my life. Many people come in and go in my door step. Stories I have been through. The sad book, the joy adventure and lonely romantic journey. My body surrenders to the situation where I accepted that I can’t control everything. My mind tries to fight but in the end it just flows with the rhythm life has prepared for me.

People grief on the contrary, singing melody of the night in the feeling of greatness. I told myself to never let go of that secure feeling I have since long ago. Not even when somebody trying to dig cracks in my wall of defense. He may get through me but never have me whole. I am belonging to my shadow and my shadow only. Everybody lies they said, everybody have their own secrets they said and I have mine too.

The world can break me like crystal on a hard concrete road in the middle of nowhere; I will never be found. God pick up my pieces as He picked up my shattered faith. It’s raining crucifix and angels now. They fall right between my eyes and show me the only truth the world ever known. They are inside me filling my emptiness with realism and ropes from the thread you made for me.

My days are fine like a sailor on a sunny day out far on the horizon of watery world. Seagulls lead me to my sanctuary. Wisdom words are my prayers, strength is my belief. Like the old wise king in his golden days. I’m calm like the water itself carries so many peacefulness inside it and all the drifting dreams it has. Creatures swimming inside my skin building castles of commiseration, deep underground.

Shame to myself who’s been letting my guard down and let myself in the maze of my own super-dramatic life line. I let myself drifted to the sound of my own amusement which leads to nothingness. In the result of my own disappointment I cried for help. Dripping melody of my sanctuary let’s dance to this tune of oddness that each of us has creates to satisfy our solitary lives.

But then I realize that this just had to stop. My mind is one and I’m the captain of this boat. I can’t keep jumping ship just to feed my ego and lust. I’m about to finish on this dramatizing every events and start to pull my head out from the dirt. Looking to the great big horizon where I see copies of myself lining up in an army of me. Ready to defend and replace me whenever I go start destroying myself on the folktales about ‘love’.

-YaaRo-